My computer crashed, the worldwide rocket ship I was riding while blasting through cities has come to a near screeching halt as I find myself road-rash skidding - POOM. Here is me. No longer a motion full roadie, merely another of many humans that stands in lines and alternates between being annoyed at lead foot drivers and resisting the desire to honk at red lights.
Without motion I no longer can describe the blur from a first hand perspective leaving me only with the remnants of enlightenment or damage caused by the journey. I spend my friday night wavering between solitude appreciation and debating winding myself up into taking a stab at finding an enjoyable interaction and decide to make a solo dinner of habenero turkey burgers in a cast iron skillet. One pound lean ground turkey, one slice of diced onion, 1/4 diced bell pepper (yellow), some garlic powder, salt, pepper, one whole minced habenero pepper and a handful of granulated feta cheese. Mash, burger-ize and pan fry in a tiny amount of olive oil. It is all about knowing when to stop and done right, all good. Listening to the sounds of heat and watching the textures evolve, I try to time when to flip, too soon and she will break apart captain, too late and the burger will hermetically bond itself to the non-non-stick pan.
Then suddenly I stumble upon the thought "The world is dirty, and we poison ourselves in our efforts to to create the 'clean' illusion." For a flash, it all fits, landfills overflowing and smoggy skies from manufacturing and transporting millions of plastic "clean" water carrying bottles. Priests attempting to be so clean and pure they end up in jail as child molesters and the hydrogenated, modified whatever that is in all our food so it stays as "fresh" as possible even though it becomes the opposite of healthy. "Yuck, dirty insects, quick, put poison on our food." There are many debates about good and bad and various things and for the moment at least, it appears so simple. If you have a box gray sand and pull out all the light or dark bits, all that will be left is the other. It is that polarization, the acceleration towards dividing our infinitely gray world into the much more palatable black and white of "This is clean, this is dirty. This is good, this is bad." But perhaps the reality is that it is similar to Newton's conservation of energy law, "good" and "clean" are not created, they are only temporarily separated from "bad" and "dirty" counterparts. I ponder as I wash the raw turkey remnants from a bowl now clean while soapy turkey water flows down a drain to an unknown destiny.
Long ago a friend named Davo said something that I never forgot. "Many things in this world are like air conditioners, the cooler it gets on the inside, the hotter it gets for everyone else." He was referring at the time to the United States versus the rest of the world, mid Reagan era. Except it even seems bigger than that and impacts us on all levels as we all seem to eventually leave the air conditioning at the end of the day and sit there fighting that irresistible desire to honk at red lights.
From the inside out I view, as we all do and I often wonder if everyone feels as disconnected as I. And if so, how they are so good at masking it? Perhaps I should watch more TV
but I keep forgetting, in the mean time I will sift through the pile of things that I want to remember to do, so I don't regret later.
And oh, where did I go? I guess, everywhere but here. "One more, one more!" Oh ok, last one, these roller coaster's are fun, one last ride before the park closes.
On another note, as one curtain closes another opens. How excited am I? I have signed on as a consultant/designer for a large sound manufacturer and looks like we are going to be building some Ratty designs! A dream come true and cool stuff too! Secretly in my other life I have been designing cool soundie stuff between being transported and bloggery posts and now if all goes as I dream it to be, the thoughts will become real tangible entities. I will post more soon with details once the company releases the info publicly. As I slip away from pondering into personally following those same humanly ways of sorting through the sand box reforming the bits of the world around into things for a differing purpose.