Dave Rat - Roadies in the Midst

Combo clean the house and pack for tour day. One of the mini projects is to toss left over foreign cash in the cash baggie box. Don't under estimate the happiness of showing up in each country with enough money for coffee and some food with out hunting for a cash machine:

**** Begin Mind Spiral ****

In the midst I ran around with a mild mental meltdown for several hours realizing my wallet had escaped me. Starting the tour knocked off balance and wallet-less was not high on my list of adventures. Fortunately, the wallet decided to return on it's own accord and hide in my backpack right where I put it yesterday. Bad wallet, no more hiding from Dave. As a somewhat reformed "lose everything aholic" I am both mentally durable enough to deal with losing just about anything while also fully in tune with the impacts associated with each specific loss.

Anyway, even now with the vanishing wallet gloom cloud illusion lifted, my mind still resonates with echo's of my past mishaps. Looking backwards into my past it still amazes me how my perception is so entirely biased by my present state of mind. And again I think of water. Swimming in a flowing river of water and when thing are going well in my world it is a wonderful day as I float on top and see clearly the sunshine in all directions. The trees on the river banks float by like a movie. Speeding and slowing in the winding current. My work is to swim up or down stream and around the obstacles. Then, when I take the river for granted, snoozing through the rapids or not paying enough attention to swim around a whirlpool. I find myself submersed , struggling for air, vision blurred in the thick panic drown. The cinema of trees is now just silvery flashes of distant light and deeper is darker and everywhere I look into my past and future all I can see is confusion and I become fully connected with all my past traumas and every bad idea I have ever had. As if my life has always been this way as I can see nothing else. And at some point I inadvertently float in the right direction or clear my mind enough to end up at the surface again. With the gasp of fresh air happiness returns and hey, look around, trees and sunshine and furry critters rather than slippery ones and how silly was I to think my life ever was full of blurry confusion.

.**** End Mind Spiral ****

Good night and tomorrow we fly to Boston and start up another three week US tour, hey, lets go do rock shows!

The smiling at the thought of not having to clean up the house while I live in hotel rooms,

Dave Rat

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